As we go through our busy lives, it's easy to feel like we are just one thread away from everything unraveling. I know from personal experience that juggling multiple roles and responsibilities can be overwhelming. As a wife, mother, business owner, house manager, ministry leader, friend, daughter, and more, I had so much on my plate that I felt the need to control everything and everyone just to keep myself from feeling like everything was going to fall apart.

But the truth is, we can't control everything. And trying to do so only leads to stress, anxiety, and fear. That's why I want to share with you how I learned to give up control to God and trust in His plan for my life. It wasn't easy, but by allowing Him to search every part of my being, I was able to root out the fears that were holding me back. And it's made all the difference.

Now, when I feel overwhelmed or out of control, I turn to God and ask Him these questions:

👉 What are you doing in this situation in my life?
👉 What are you saying to me?
👉 Can you help me exchange my fear in this situation with your peace?
👉 Can you give me joy in the midst of this chaos?

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. James 1:5 (NLT)

Trusting in God's plan and stepping out of our comfort zones allows us to experience His faithfulness and provision. So let's let go of our need for control and lean on His strength and direction.

We recently had the privilege of interviewing Joel & Alex Silver on our Seeds For Your Marriage podcast. About a year ago, they decided to step outside of their comfort zone and take a journey across the country to minister to the poor, heal the sick, and get people’s testimonies of how God is moving in their own lives. They now have a YouTube channel @thegoodreport406. Check out their interview below and be inspired by their journey. I hope their encouragement reminds you that God is always in control, and we can find peace and joy in surrendering to His plan.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)


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We all long for healthy, fulfilling relationships. Whether it be with our friends, family, or romantic partners, we desire to experience love, trust, and happiness. However, not all relationships are positive and nurturing. Some can leave us with deep wounds and scars that seem impossible to heal from. These are the traumatic relationships, ones that can have a long-lasting impact on our mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. There is hope.  Healing from traumatic relationships is possible, and with God's guidance, you can find peace and restoration.

In today’s world, we all experience some level of trauma in our life.  Whether we realize it or not, it does affect us, how we respond to life and the people around us.  In my personal experiences growing up, my father was an alcoholic, drug addict, and I witnessed a lot of physical and emotional abuse toward my mother. (My father has been clean and sober for over five years now😊 All glory given to God).  I carried a lot of this anger and unhealthy ways of relating to Thomas into the first 12 years of our marriage.  When I finally realized that I was repeating some of the same things in my own marriage and parenting that I learned growing up, I knew a change needed to be made.  Through seeking Jesus and partnering with a pastor friend in prayer, I started my transformational journey in a new walk with the Lord, starting to press into a greater joy and freedom that I had never known before.  Now 15 years later, my marriage is completely restored, there has been redemption in family relationships, and I passionately help others experience this same breakthrough in their lives that I have experienced.  

Steps to Get There:

First and foremost, seeking God's guidance is crucial in the healing process. As believers, we know that God is the ultimate healer. He sees our pain and is always ready to wrap us in His loving arms. The Bible reminds us in Psalm 147:3, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Turning to God in prayer and seeking His word can bring immense comfort and provide a sense of direction. Through His grace and love, God can reveal the root causes of our pain and help us find the path to healing.

He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds
[healing their pain and comforting their sorrow] 
Psalm 147.3 (AMP)

The next step in healing from traumatic relationships is letting go of past baggage. Often, we hold onto grudges, anger, and hurt from our past relationships, and these negative emotions weigh us down. In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus teaches us to forgive others so that we may be forgiven. Forgiveness does not mean that what happened was okay, but it sets us free from the burden of bitterness and resentment. Sometimes this takes confiding in a pastor or trusting friend to partner in prayer as we go through this process.

For if you forgive others their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others [nurturing your hurt and anger with the result that it interferes with your relationship with God], then your Father will not forgive your trespasses.
Matthew 6:14-15 (AMP)

Lastly, finding our identity in Christ is crucial in the healing process. Traumatic relationships can shatter our self-worth and leave us feeling broken and lost. But as believers, we are children of God, fearfully and wonderfully made in His image. Our identity is not defined by our past or our relationships; it is found in Christ who loves us unconditionally. Jeremiah 31:3 says, "I have loved you with an everlasting love." When we embrace our identity in Christ, we can find the strength and courage to heal and move forward.

Through my prayer ministry, I have partnered with hundreds of men and women where we work through this very topic of healing from their trauma, letting go of unforgiveness and getting a clear understanding of their identity in Christ.  These Freedom sessions (often called Sozo sessions) help people break down the barriers that they may be feeling with God, and they leave the session feeling lighter, filled with love and hope, and have a greater sense of their purpose moving forward.  If you would like more information on having one of these Freedom sessions with me, you are welcome to reach out to me or book a FREE discovery call: https://trishaandthomas.com/contact-us/.

In the midst of pain and brokenness, it may feel impossible to heal from traumatic relationships. But with God's guidance, letting go of past baggage, and finding our identity in Christ, we can overcome and find healing. It may not be an easy journey, but it is one that is worth taking. Trust in God's love and His plan for your life, and remember that His grace is sufficient. He will never leave your side, and He will guide you through the healing process.


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As the famous saying goes, “Family comes first.” But in today’s fast-paced and chaotic world, it can be challenging to prioritize our loved ones amidst our busy schedules and never-ending to-do lists. However, making our family a top priority is crucial for building strong relationships and creating a happy and fulfilling life. So how do you prioritize your family in a way that blesses your home? Here are a few essential tips to help you get started.

Tip #1: Keep God First

One of the most crucial aspects of prioritizing your family is making sure that God is at the center of it all. We live in a society that often values success and material possessions over family and spirituality. However, taking the time to nurture your relationship with God will provide a solid foundation for your family. It allows you to have a faith-driven perspective, prioritizing love, compassion, and forgiveness over worldly desires. Make it a habit to pray together.  As my mother in-law used to tell Thomas and I, “When you pray together, you stay together”. By keeping God first, you are setting an example for your family and creating a harmonious and grounded home.

When you pray together, you stay together.

Tip #2: Your Spouse Comes Second

Marriage is a partnership, and just like any other relationship, it requires nurturing and effort. Many couples make the mistake of putting their children before their spouse, thinking it shows love and dedication. However, neglecting your marriage can lead to feelings of resentment, detachment, and even divorce. So make sure to prioritize your spouse's needs and take the time to go on date nights, have meaningful conversations, and show appreciation for one another. A strong marriage sets a positive example for your children and strengthens the family unit.

Personal Story:

About 11 years after marriage, Thomas and I had our third child.  Life at that time had a lot of stressors going on with work demands, parenting demands, in-law pressures, etc.  We were having a hard time connecting emotionally and physically.  Thomas had already been watching porn occasionally but now he wanted me to watch it with him and act out some of the scenes.  I was trying to please him and make him happy, so by opening this door to pornography in my life, it started leading us down a dark tunnel where I began compromising my relationship with God and the standards that I had for myself in order to try to please my husband.  At one point, I realized how I was actually putting pleasing my husband above my worship to my God.  For example, I was sacrificing my values, opening the door to certain sin in my life and muffling the voice of any conviction that I had.  I felt broken, used and not loved at all.  

The first commandment from the ten commandments is “You shall have no other gods before Me.”  We realized how we needed to put God back into proper order in our lives and make our worship and commitment to Him first before any needs or demands that even we had for each other.  We did this by repenting to the Lord, forgiving each other for how we had been treating each other, and then starting to see each other as a cherished child of God instead of as an object or toy.  We both removed porn completely from our lives, and began working with a Chirstian counselor to get healing and deliverance in this area of our lives individually and as a married couple.

“You shall have no other gods before Me.” 
Exodus 20:3 (NIV)


Tip #3: Your Kids Come Third

Putting your children first may seem natural as a parent. However, constantly catering to their every need and want can lead to feelings of entitlement and raise expectations. It's essential to create a balanced dynamic where your kids understand the importance of everyone's needs and respect their parents' time. Make sure to set boundaries and involve your children in decision-making processes. By doing so, you are teaching them valuable life skills and fostering a healthy and respectful relationship.

In today’s society, it can be easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. However, making your family a top priority is vital for creating a strong and happy household. By keeping God first, nurturing your marriage, and balancing your children's needs, you are investing in the well-being of your family and cultivating love and unity. Remember, family is not an obligation; it's a precious gift that deserves our utmost attention and care. So take the time to prioritize your loved ones, and you will reap the rewards of a fulfilled and joyful family life.

If you would want to learn more about this topic, we encourage that you visit our blog, where we frequently post articles about marriage, faith, and personal development.


Part 2 of our interview with Pastors Clint & Jennifer Adams (episode 7) on our podcast, Seeds For Your Marriage where they shared how they cultivated a strong connection in their marriage spanning over three decades and gave a wealth of wisdom on keeping the spark alive. From maintaining a steadfast intention for a thriving family and marriage to aligning on shared interests, they leave no stone unturned as they delve into the heart of marital intimacy.

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When you said your wedding vows, you committed to loving each other in good times and bad, in sickness and health. But when trials hit, those promises can be put to the test. Major hardships like illness, job loss, financial problems, or communication issues can strain even the strongest marriages.

During difficult times, you may feel pulled between managing the crisis and nurturing your relationship. But keeping your marriage healthy must remain a priority so you can weather the storm together.

Here are tips for protecting and strengthening your union when crisis strikes, even during times of hard marriage:

1. Make Time for Open Communication

Communication problems

Don’t let the stress of the crises you are going through put your communication with your spouse on the back burner. Studies show that one of the main contributing factors to 65% of divorce petitions is poor communication. Set aside at least 10-15 minutes daily to connect emotionally and understand each other’s hearts and needs. Share feelings honestly but gently. Ask open-ended questions to understand what your spouse is thinking and experiencing. Listen without judgment and offer empathy and reassurance.

Tips on marriage like this can help build intimacy in couples and improve communication. Strong communication requires dedication and practice from both partners. By making communication a consistent priority, you can deepen your connection and overcome any marriage issues together.

2. Seek Outside Support When Needed

If marital issues predate the current difficulties, consider marriage counseling to settle them before cracks widen. Build your broader support network by asking family, friends, church members, or professionals for help, prayers and advice when needed. Leaning on your faith community can also provide emotional strength and wisdom.

By working with a licensed therapist, a marriage counselor, a relationship coach, or a pastor, couples can address core issues, manage differences constructively, and strengthen their bond. Seeking professional help takes courage but is well worth it.

"Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding, for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold."
~ Proverbs 3:13-14

3. Reaffirm Your Love and Commitment

Make your partner feel cherished by expressing appreciation for their efforts, sensitivity to their needs, faith in their abilities to contribute to solutions, and unwavering commitment. Verbalize that the crisis has made you value their partnership even more. Counter the negativity of external issues with extra positivity in your relationship.

Look for opportunities, both big and small, to reaffirm your dedication and devotion to one another. Send a supportive text in the middle of the day. Greet them with a hug and kiss when getting home from work. Make their favorite meal on a tough day. Appreciating your partner's strengths and reassuring them of your commitment can make a world of difference in strengthening your bond. During turbulent times, a spirit of gratitude, affirmation and affection goes a long way.

4. Allow Space When Required

When tensions run high, give each other room to calm down before reengaging and saying things you might regret. Humble yourself; spend time praying, exercising, doing hobbies, or hanging out with friends to clear your head and gain a possibly different perspective. Then come back together with renewed patience, motivation and perspective. Agree to table heated discussions until you’re both in a better frame of mind.

Taking a breather can prevent arguments from escalating into something damaging. It demonstrates self-control, maturity and commitment to communicating constructively. Make sure to agree on a time to revisit the discussion once emotions have settled. A short-term time out can lead to more positive long-term relationship outcomes.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you."
~ 1 Peter 5:6-7

5. Pray

Dwelling on uncertainties or worst case scenarios will only feed anxiety and arguments. Instead, turn your eyes to the Lord and seek His perspective on the situation.

 “Casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully].”
~1 Peter 5:7 (AMP)

Learn to release control over the situation by letting go and asking God to take it from you so that He carries the heavy load for you.

Solve problems together one step at a time versus getting overwhelmed by the big picture. Maximize the present—enjoy simple pleasures and quality time together. Appreciating the here and now helps anchor you amidst external chaos.

Every couple faces challenges that test the strength of their marriage. But by leaning on each other’s support, proactively nurturing your connection, and turning to your faith, you can keep your relationship not just intact but thriving. During crises, your priorities may shift, but don’t neglect caring for your marriage. Together you can overcome anything.

Open communication and teamwork are key for couples navigating challenging times. Don’t neglect your relationship - make connecting a daily priority. Seek help to resolve any underlying issues before they escalate. And remember, you’re in this together. With mutual understanding and compassion, you will make it through.

If you want to take your couple communication to the next level, join our Love God Love People community where we will send one newsletter per month offering relationship tips, free resources, and early access to any upcoming retreats, etc.

Trisha and Thomas' 12+ years of experience helping couples deepen their relationship with each other and with God. Let's strengthen our relationships and achieve God's design for an amazing marriage!

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All rights reserved 2023 © Trisha & Thomas, a ministry of LGLP Ministries, Inc.
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