As we go through our busy lives, it's easy to feel like we are just one thread away from everything unraveling. I know from personal experience that juggling multiple roles and responsibilities can be overwhelming. As a wife, mother, business owner, house manager, ministry leader, friend, daughter, and more, I had so much on my plate that I felt the need to control everything and everyone just to keep myself from feeling like everything was going to fall apart.

But the truth is, we can't control everything. And trying to do so only leads to stress, anxiety, and fear. That's why I want to share with you how I learned to give up control to God and trust in His plan for my life. It wasn't easy, but by allowing Him to search every part of my being, I was able to root out the fears that were holding me back. And it's made all the difference.

Now, when I feel overwhelmed or out of control, I turn to God and ask Him these questions:

👉 What are you doing in this situation in my life?
👉 What are you saying to me?
👉 Can you help me exchange my fear in this situation with your peace?
👉 Can you give me joy in the midst of this chaos?

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. James 1:5 (NLT)

Trusting in God's plan and stepping out of our comfort zones allows us to experience His faithfulness and provision. So let's let go of our need for control and lean on His strength and direction.

We recently had the privilege of interviewing Joel & Alex Silver on our Seeds For Your Marriage podcast. About a year ago, they decided to step outside of their comfort zone and take a journey across the country to minister to the poor, heal the sick, and get people’s testimonies of how God is moving in their own lives. They now have a YouTube channel @thegoodreport406. Check out their interview below and be inspired by their journey. I hope their encouragement reminds you that God is always in control, and we can find peace and joy in surrendering to His plan.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

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📢 Calling all couples! 📢

Are you looking to strengthen your relationship and grow closer to your partner? Look no further! Our Couple's Devotional has everything you need to achieve true intimacy and connection.

To make things even more exciting, we're running a special promotion for the entire month of April. We will be giving away two $50 gift cards to take your partner on a date to Ruth's Chris Steak House and Outback Steakhouse!

Here's how to enter:

1️⃣ Purchase The Couple's Devotional for just 99 cents:

2️⃣ Read it with your partner for 15 minutes every day.

3️⃣ Leave us an honest review on Amazon:

4️⃣ Email us at to let us know you left a review.

All participants will be entered into a raffle and two lucky winners will be chosen at the end of April. Don't miss out on this opportunity to invest in your relationship and win a special date night for you and your partner. We can't wait to join you on this journey towards wholeness. 💕

Take care of your soul, nourish your body, and nurture your soul. When we prioritize our own well-being, we radiate positivity and inspire those around us. Remember, you are loved by your Heavenly Father and capable of amazing transformation. Let's live the life we were destined for.

Seeds for your marriage podcast clip

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We all long for healthy, fulfilling relationships. Whether it be with our friends, family, or romantic partners, we desire to experience love, trust, and happiness. However, not all relationships are positive and nurturing. Some can leave us with deep wounds and scars that seem impossible to heal from. These are the traumatic relationships, ones that can have a long-lasting impact on our mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. There is hope.  Healing from traumatic relationships is possible, and with God's guidance, you can find peace and restoration.

In today’s world, we all experience some level of trauma in our life.  Whether we realize it or not, it does affect us, how we respond to life and the people around us.  In my personal experiences growing up, my father was an alcoholic, drug addict, and I witnessed a lot of physical and emotional abuse toward my mother. (My father has been clean and sober for over five years now😊 All glory given to God).  I carried a lot of this anger and unhealthy ways of relating to Thomas into the first 12 years of our marriage.  When I finally realized that I was repeating some of the same things in my own marriage and parenting that I learned growing up, I knew a change needed to be made.  Through seeking Jesus and partnering with a pastor friend in prayer, I started my transformational journey in a new walk with the Lord, starting to press into a greater joy and freedom that I had never known before.  Now 15 years later, my marriage is completely restored, there has been redemption in family relationships, and I passionately help others experience this same breakthrough in their lives that I have experienced.  

Steps to Get There:

First and foremost, seeking God's guidance is crucial in the healing process. As believers, we know that God is the ultimate healer. He sees our pain and is always ready to wrap us in His loving arms. The Bible reminds us in Psalm 147:3, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Turning to God in prayer and seeking His word can bring immense comfort and provide a sense of direction. Through His grace and love, God can reveal the root causes of our pain and help us find the path to healing.

He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds
[healing their pain and comforting their sorrow] 
Psalm 147.3 (AMP)

The next step in healing from traumatic relationships is letting go of past baggage. Often, we hold onto grudges, anger, and hurt from our past relationships, and these negative emotions weigh us down. In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus teaches us to forgive others so that we may be forgiven. Forgiveness does not mean that what happened was okay, but it sets us free from the burden of bitterness and resentment. Sometimes this takes confiding in a pastor or trusting friend to partner in prayer as we go through this process.

For if you forgive others their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others [nurturing your hurt and anger with the result that it interferes with your relationship with God], then your Father will not forgive your trespasses.
Matthew 6:14-15 (AMP)

Lastly, finding our identity in Christ is crucial in the healing process. Traumatic relationships can shatter our self-worth and leave us feeling broken and lost. But as believers, we are children of God, fearfully and wonderfully made in His image. Our identity is not defined by our past or our relationships; it is found in Christ who loves us unconditionally. Jeremiah 31:3 says, "I have loved you with an everlasting love." When we embrace our identity in Christ, we can find the strength and courage to heal and move forward.

Through my prayer ministry, I have partnered with hundreds of men and women where we work through this very topic of healing from their trauma, letting go of unforgiveness and getting a clear understanding of their identity in Christ.  These Freedom sessions (often called Sozo sessions) help people break down the barriers that they may be feeling with God, and they leave the session feeling lighter, filled with love and hope, and have a greater sense of their purpose moving forward.  If you would like more information on having one of these Freedom sessions with me, you are welcome to reach out to me or book a FREE discovery call:

In the midst of pain and brokenness, it may feel impossible to heal from traumatic relationships. But with God's guidance, letting go of past baggage, and finding our identity in Christ, we can overcome and find healing. It may not be an easy journey, but it is one that is worth taking. Trust in God's love and His plan for your life, and remember that His grace is sufficient. He will never leave your side, and He will guide you through the healing process.

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Vulnerability Definition:

Vulnerability is the cornerstone of forming authentic connections with others, especially with our partners. It is the willingness to expose our true selves, flaws and all, without the fear of rejection. When we open up about our failures, we demonstrate trust, honesty, and a shared vulnerability that can foster deeper emotional connections within the marriage.

What does vulnerability look like in a Christian marriage?

In the journey of building a strong marital bond despite a fighting relationship, sharing our failures with our partner can be a daunting task. We may fear rejection or judgment, leading us to hide our deepest thoughts and emotions. However, in this blog post, we will explore the importance of vulnerability, what it looks like, how failures can shape us, and how sharing them can contribute to marital success, even in times of hard marriage.

Failure is an inevitable part of life, and it is how we perceive and react to these failures that determine our growth and success. By allowing ourselves to learn from our mistakes, we can evolve and improve our future actions. Embracing failure as a stepping stone toward greatness provides a powerful perspective on personal development. Approaching communication issues in marriage  with humility allows for communication skills to develop.

We recently interviewed Chuck and Linda McCallum on our podcast about how they worked together in their marriage and even grew closer during a time when their children were struggling with addictions. Linda was sharing how failure isn’t a bad thing because it helps us to learn what went wrong, it gives us opportunities to be vulnerable and connect with our spouse about the situation, then provides space for growth both individually and together on ways to do things differently the next time. She said, “God lets us fall and fail in the right places, but He watches over us and He gives us the small failure before we hit the big things.” This only goes to show how failures can indeed strengthen communication in marriage.

“God lets us fall and fail in the right places, but he watches over us and he gives us the small failures before we hit the big things.”
Linda McCallum, wife of Executive Pastor at Infusion Church (Dublin, Ca)

Vulnerability is the cornerstone of forming authentic connections with others, especially with our partners. It is the willingness to expose our true selves, flaws and all, without the fear of rejection. When we open up about our failures, we demonstrate trust, honesty, and a shared vulnerability that can foster deeper emotional connections within the marriage.

In Thomas’s and my relationship, we practice being vulnerable with each other by breaking up conversations into individual topics.  Then, we each have an opportunity to share how we are experiencing that particular topic through the act of being completely self-aware.  We do this by making “I” statements, by not blaming, getting angry, defensive, etc.  We understand that if we are open and vulnerable when sharing, it is the listener's job to be present with the sole objective of gaining understanding into the other person. We have agreed that we will not throw what the other person said back into their face later on.  That would only cause the other person to not feel safe and shut down.

Our willingness to share our failures with our partner is an indication of the level of trust in the relationship. It shows that we have faith in their ability to accept us as we are, flaws and all. When we allow our partner to see our vulnerabilities, we invite them to do the same. When we are authentic in our sharing, it helps create a safe space for emotional intimacy to flourish, and strengthen the marital bond. Openly discussing failures can lead to improved connection in marriage.

Discussing our failures and the lessons learned from them can transform our relationships into a powerful support system. As we share our individual struggles and challenges, we invite our partner to offer support, encouragement, and guidance. This shared experience can cultivate empathy, understanding, and a deeper connection that can weather any storm.

Creating a healthy support system is vital to our emotional, spiritual and physical health.  If our partner isn’t the one we initially feel comfortable sharing with, finding people who we can open up to is an excellent starting point.  Examples are:

  • A relationship coach
  • A pastor 
  • A counselor
  • A support group

Being a part of a Christian small group or having a few solid and sound Christian marriage couples as friends is key to sharing life with the community and not feeling like we are alone.  Then, when we need some encouragement, have questions about relationships or just want to have some fun, we have people we have created a life with, we trust and can begin to be vulnerable with.  This helps to foster deeper and meaningful relationships with our spouse and the community.

People’s identities can be multifaceted, consisting of our successes, failures, the roles we play as a parent, spouse, business owner, employee, friend, etc. True personal growth occurs when we do not allow ourselves to be defined by our failures. Instead our true identity liberates us when we learn from them, inspire others through our successes, and ultimately let our Heavenly Father define who we are by who He says we are.  St. Paul, the Apostle in the New Testament wrote, “And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, “Abba Father!”  Therefore you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.” (Galatians 4:6-7 NKJV)  Recognizing that we are chosen, loved, and His precious children allows us to approach vulnerability with courage and confidence.

“And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, “Abba Father!”  Therefore you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.”
(Galatians 4:6-7 NKJV)

Though opening up about failures can feel intimidating, embracing vulnerability is key for marital success. By learning from mistakes, candidly sharing experiences, and offering mutual support through life's ups and downs, couples build trust, emotional intimacy, and understanding – a firm foundation that endures. Our failures do not define who we are, but the willingness to grow through them shapes us into better partners and individuals. With open and judgment-free communication in relationships, we can discover the transformative power of vulnerability. Let us have the courage to share our imperfections and see how, together, we are made stronger.

Communication challenges don't have to keep harming your marriage. Small changes can make a big difference. Equipping yourselves with just a few simple techniques can help end the fighting and foster understanding. If you're looking for practical, research-backed ways to improve how you communicate as a couple, be sure to check out our free guide. It shares 5 powerful yet easy hacks for improving communication. Don't let destructive arguments continue to damage your relationship - learn how to communicate in a healthier, more productive way and restore peace in your marriage.

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