How To Manage Finances in a Marriage

August 29, 2023
by Trisha Walker

Over the last 27 + years of our marriage, finances have been nothing short of a hot topic in our marriage.  In fact, the question of “Where did all of the money go?” or “Why is the savings account not where we said it would be?” has caused some of the most heated arguments we have had.  When we asked the public and found out that a top relationship couple question is “How to manage finances in a marriage?” and “How to do it peacefully as a Christian couple?”, we decided to share a few tips we have learned.

Financial Tips on Marriage:

1. Both people in the marriage need to be actively involved or at least aware of all financial aspects of their marriage.  

One person might be better at budgeting, paying bills, planning and saving money for big expenses, preparing for retirement, etc.  However, the other spouse needs to still be a part of the process and know what is going on financially, and they both need to agree on what each person’s roles and responsibilities are as it relates to this.

Personal Story

Thomas’ parents had the traditional role where the husband made the money, handled all of the bills, and the wife just trusted that he was managing it well. After Thomas’ dad had retired, he made a huge financial decision to invest all of their retirement into a business that severely hurt them financially. His mom had huge regrets later in life about not being more aware of the financial decisions that were being made, without having any input or partnership in the decision making process.  Learning from their mistakes, Thomas and I now know just how important communication in a marriage is.

2. Set Financial Goals

Setting financial goals at the beginning of each year and then both people agree on how to achieve these goals is key.  “Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it (Habakkuk 2:2).  Thomas and I learned how to apply this scripture to our marriage by setting financial goals each year and then writing them down so we can refer back to them.  We use our Couple’s Goal Planner (link to page on Free Resources Page on Website ) to help us do this.  We decide what each person’s role is in achieving this.  If it is a big goal, then we break it down into smaller milestones.  It will then feel like we are making progress when we hit each one.  

Areas We Get Agreement On:

  • How are we going to make the financial progress we are looking for?
  • When do we want to achieve it?
  • How will we know when progress has been made?
  • How often will we review progress and make adjustments as needed (monthly, quarterly, etc.)

And the Lord answered me:

Write the vision;
make it plain on tablets,
so he may run who reads it.
3For still the vision awaits its appointed time;
it hastens to the end—it will not lie.
If it seems slow, wait for it;
it will surely come; it will not delay.

-Habakkuk 2:2 (ESV)

3. Learn to communicate well with each other and be open and honest while doing it.

Learning effective communication for relationships has been huge in avoiding unnecessary misunderstandings when we have been having conversations around our finances.  Deciding on a place and a time helps to make sure when we actually sit down to talk about finances, we are doing it during a time when we are not tired and we can both focus without distractions.  Creating a safe place for each other to share our heart allows us to know that we don’t need to hide from each other, but are free to be honest and vulnerable.  It is key for me to know that my partner has my back even when I make mistakes at times.  When we are open and honest with each other, even if we haven’t made the financial progress we are looking for, as long as we both want the same things, we can work together on how to overcome anything with prayer, wisdom and proper guidance. 

We interviewed Marshall & Julie Belcher (episode 4) on our podcast, Seeds For Your Marriage and they share how they overcame an addiction to shopping and depending on money to give them security.  They open up the last ten years of their marriage for people to learn from them on how to have breakthroughs in finances while learning to put your trust and security in Jesus.

I Want To Listen To More Episodes….

Seeds for Your Marriage podcast with Marshall and Julie

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About us

Trisha & Thomas Walker have been married for 27+ years, live in the San Francisco Bay Area and have three children. They are relationship coaches and founding Directors of LGLP Ministries, Inc. (Love God Love People), a 501c3 organization since 2014. They were both certified as Couple Communication™ Coaches in 2010 and then as ThriveSphere™ Relationship Map Facilitators in 2020. The minisry’s vision is to see healed and whole families that impact their communities with the love of God to bring restoration, unity, and transformation

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