We wanted to take a moment to share our experience and some tips that have greatly improved the intimacy in our marriage. Our hope is that these tips will also benefit you and your spouse in your own relationship.
First and foremost, We believe that love and grace are essential components for a thriving marriage. As we all know, a successful marriage requires effort and commitment from both partners. Showing love and grace towards each other, even during tough times, can help strengthen your bond and deepen your intimacy.
“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
Colossians 4:6 (NIV)
Communication is also vital in any relationship, especially in a marriage. Communication in our relationship wasn’t always good. In fact, until about 2010, it actually sucked. We have had to learn tools to communicate better and actually work at it. Nothing improves unless we are intentional and put what we are learning into practice.
We both make it a point to have open and honest communication without any judgment or shame. This allows us to address any issues or concerns that may arise and work through them together. By learning to give each space to share, being fully present in conversations and truly being open about ourselves (fully self-aware and sharing that with each other), it has made a huge difference in our level of intimacy. We like to define “intimacy” as:
In-To-Me-You-See
Another important aspect is to make time for each other. In our busy lives, it is easy to get caught up in work, household chores, and other responsibilities. But setting aside quality time for just the two of you is crucial for maintaining intimacy. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant, even a simple date night or a walk in the park can do wonders for your relationship.
Lastly, allow the Lord to remove any shame that you may be carrying. When we do that and live before our spouse without shame, truly sharing our whole selves, and they do the same, we allow each other to be fully understood and known, fully seen, and fully heard. Scott & Jenni Means, guests on our podcast, Seeds For Your Marriage, call this process living before your spouse naked without shame.
Jesus’ Words To You:
Be Fully Known By Me
Be Fully Seen By Me
Be Fully Heard By Me
We truly hope these tips can benefit your marriage as much as they have benefited ours. Remember, every relationship is unique, so find what works best for you and your spouse.
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About Trisha & Thomas Walker
Trisha and Thomas are founders of Seeds For Your Community, a faith-centered nonprofit that helps individuals and families experience healing in spirit, soul, and body. Through relationship coaching, practical tools, marriage education, and global outreach, Seeds For Your Community plants small seeds that restore families and build healthier communities.