As we go through our busy lives, it's easy to feel like we are just one thread away from everything unraveling. I know from personal experience that juggling multiple roles and responsibilities can be overwhelming. As a wife, mother, business owner, house manager, ministry leader, friend, daughter, and more, I had so much on my plate that I felt the need to control everything and everyone just to keep myself from feeling like everything was going to fall apart.

But the truth is, we can't control everything. And trying to do so only leads to stress, anxiety, and fear. That's why I want to share with you how I learned to give up control to God and trust in His plan for my life. It wasn't easy, but by allowing Him to search every part of my being, I was able to root out the fears that were holding me back. And it's made all the difference.

Now, when I feel overwhelmed or out of control, I turn to God and ask Him these questions:

👉 What are you doing in this situation in my life?
👉 What are you saying to me?
👉 Can you help me exchange my fear in this situation with your peace?
👉 Can you give me joy in the midst of this chaos?

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. James 1:5 (NLT)

Trusting in God's plan and stepping out of our comfort zones allows us to experience His faithfulness and provision. So let's let go of our need for control and lean on His strength and direction.

We recently had the privilege of interviewing Joel & Alex Silver on our Seeds For Your Marriage podcast. About a year ago, they decided to step outside of their comfort zone and take a journey across the country to minister to the poor, heal the sick, and get people’s testimonies of how God is moving in their own lives. They now have a YouTube channel @thegoodreport406. Check out their interview below and be inspired by their journey. I hope their encouragement reminds you that God is always in control, and we can find peace and joy in surrendering to His plan.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)


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Christian marriages, often considered the backbone of the family and a God-fearing society, are built on several values and emotions. Among these, trust stands out as a foundational element that holds the union together. Trust in a marriage is not just about faithfulness but encompasses a deep sense of reliability, honesty, and emotional security. When trust is strong, a marriage flourishes; when it falters, cracks begin to appear.

This blog discusses the significance of trust in Christian marriage, its components, and practical ways to build trust in a marriage.

Building trust in a marriage

Understanding Trust in Marriage

Trust in a Christian marriage goes beyond the absence of infidelity. It embodies a sense of security, confidence, and reliance on one another. Trust is the belief that your partner has your best interests at heart, that they will be there for you through thick and thin, and that they will act in ways that are consistent with your shared values. It is the basis on which emotional intimacy, communication, and partnership thrive.

The Components of Trust

Reliability

Being able to depend on your Christian partner is crucial. This means showing up for each other, keeping promises, and being consistent in actions and behaviors.

Honesty

Open and truthful communication is fundamental. It's about sharing thoughts, feelings, and experiences without fear of judgment or reprisal.

Transparency

A transparent Christian relationship fosters trust. This involves sharing information willingly, whether it's about finances, friendships, or personal struggles.

Vulnerability

Trust allows for vulnerability. It's the willingness to let your guard down and share your deepest fears and desires with your partner.

Empathy

Understanding and empathizing with your partner's feelings builds trust in a Christian marriage. It shows that you care about their emotions and are willing to see things from their perspective.

Building trust in a marriage through physical intimacy

The Impact of Trust

When trust is strong in a Christian marriage, it creates a safe space for both partners to grow individually and together. Here are some key benefits.

Emotional Security: Trust provides a sense of emotional safety, allowing partners to be themselves without fear of judgment or rejection.

Enhanced Communication: Openness and honesty foster better communication, leading to fewer misunderstandings and conflicts.

Increased Intimacy: Trust paves the way for deeper emotional and physical intimacy, as partners feel safe to explore and connect on a profound level.

Resilience: Christian couples with high levels of trust are better equipped to weather challenges and crises, knowing they can rely on each other for support.

Building trust in a marriage through intimacy

Building Trust in a Christian Marriage

Building trust is a continuous process that requires effort and commitment from both partners. Whether you're newlyweds or celebrating decades together, here are some strategies to strengthen the foundation of trust in your Christian marriage.

Communication is Key

Healthy communication is the foundation of trust. It's not just about talking but also about listening and understanding. Make time for meaningful conversations where you can share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Practice Active Listening: Give your full attention when your partner speaks. Reflect on what you hear to ensure understanding.

Be Honest and Transparent: Avoid keeping secrets or withholding information. Share your thoughts openly, even if they are difficult.

Use “I” Statements: When discussing sensitive topics or conflicts, use “I” statements to express how you feel without blaming your partner. For example, “I feel hurt when…”

Check-In Regularly: Set aside time to check in with each other about your feelings, needs, and the state of your Christian relationship.

Cultivate Reliability

Consistency and reliability breed trust. When you say you'll do something, follow through. This applies to both big and small commitments.

Keep Promises: If you make a promise, honor it. This builds a sense of security and shows that you can be relied upon.

Be Punctual: Respect each other's time by being punctual and considerate of schedules.

Share Responsibilities: Divide household and family responsibilities fairly so neither partner feels burdened or unsupported.

Support Each Other's Goals: Show interest in and support for your partner's aspirations and goals. Be their cheerleader in both good times and bad.

Building trust in marriage through quality time

Foster Emotional Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is the deep connection that comes from sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings. It requires vulnerability and a willingness to be open with your Christian spouse.

Share Your Feelings: Don't shy away from expressing how you feel, whether it's joy, sadness, fear, or excitement.

Create Rituals of Connection: Establish rituals such as regular date nights, morning coffee together, or bedtime chats. These moments strengthen your bond.

Show Appreciation: Express gratitude for each other regularly. Acknowledge the little things your partner does that make a difference.

Apologize and Forgive: When conflicts arise, be quick to apologize for your mistakes and forgive your partner. Holding onto grudges erodes trust over time.

Build Trust Through Actions

Actions speak louder than words. Consistently demonstrating trustworthiness through your behaviors reinforces the foundation of trust in your Christian marriage.

Be Accountable: Take responsibility for your actions and choices. If you make a mistake, own up to it and work on making amends.

Respect Boundaries: Honor each other's boundaries, whether they are physical, emotional, or personal.

Avoid Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that undermines your partner's reality. Always validate their feelings and perspectives.

Seek Professional Help: If trust issues persist or become overwhelming, consider seeking the guidance of a Christian couples counselor. Professional help can provide valuable tools and insights.

A couple spending quality time to build trust in a marriage

Prioritize Trust-Building Activities

Make intentional efforts to strengthen trust in your Christian marriage through specific activities and exercises.

Trust-Building Games: Engage in trust-building exercises such as trust falls or blindfolded obstacle courses. These activities can be fun and effective in building trust.

Read Together: Choose books or articles on Christian relationships and trust and discuss them together. This shared learning experience can deepen your understanding of each other.

Attend Workshops or Retreats: Consider attending marriage workshops, or retreats focused on trust and intimacy. These immersive experiences can reignite the spark and strengthen your bond.

Manage Conflict Constructively

Conflict is inevitable in any Christian relationship, but how you handle it can either erode or strengthen trust.

Use “I” Statements: During conflicts, focus on expressing your feelings and needs rather than blaming your partner.

Practice Active Listening: Truly listen to your partner's perspective without interrupting or formulating a response.

Take Breaks When Needed: If emotions escalate, take a break to cool down before continuing the conversation.

Seek Collaboration: Aim for win-win solutions where both partners' needs are met. Avoiding power struggles helps maintain trust.

A couple cooking together to build trust in a marriage

Foster Individual Growth

While a Christian marriage is a partnership, both individuals need to continue growing personally. When each partner is actively working on self-improvement and pursuing their passions, it contributes positively to the relationship's trust.

Support Personal Goals: Encourage each other to pursue personal interests, hobbies, and career aspirations. Knowing that your partner supports your growth fosters trust.

Celebrate Achievements: Acknowledge and celebrate each other's milestones and accomplishments. This demonstrates that you are invested in each other's success.

Respect Autonomy: Allow space for individuality within the Christian marriage. Trust flourishes when partners feel free to be themselves without fear of judgment.

Communicate About Growth: Share your personal development journeys. Discuss your goals, challenges, and how you can support each other's growth.

Practice Financial Transparency

Money matters can be a significant source of stress in a Christian marriage. Establishing transparency and honesty regarding finances is crucial for building trust and preventing conflicts.

Joint Financial Goals: Sit down together to discuss and set financial goals as a couple. This could include saving for a home, retirement, or vacations.

Regular Financial Updates: Schedule regular meetings to review finances, expenses, and budgeting. Being open about money management reduces misunderstandings.

Full Disclosure: Be honest about debts, income, and spending habits. Secrets or hidden financial issues can erode trust over time.

Create a Joint Budget: Work together to create a budget that reflects your shared Christian values and priorities. This fosters a sense of teamwork and accountability.

A couple working to build trust in a marriage

Cultivate Trust in Parenting

If children are part of the marriage, trust extends to parenting decisions and responsibilities. Aligning parenting styles and approaches helps maintain a united front and strengthen trust between partners.

Agree on Parenting Values: Discuss and agree on fundamental parenting values such as discipline, education, and family routines.

Share Responsibilities: Divide parenting responsibilities fairly and support each other in roles such as disciplinarian, caregiver, and mentor.

Communicate About Decisions: Before making significant parenting decisions, consult with each other. This shows respect for each other's input.

Attend Parenting Workshops: Consider attending Christian parenting workshops or reading books together to enhance your parenting skills and understanding.

Prioritize Quality Time Together

Amidst the busyness of life, it's crucial to make dedicated quality time for each other. These moments of connection and intimacy strengthen the bond and build trust.

Date Nights: Regular date nights are essential for maintaining romance and connection. Whether it's a dinner out or a cozy evening at home, prioritize this time together.

Unplug Together: Disconnect from devices and distractions when spending time together. Give each other undivided attention.

Create Rituals: Establish rituals that are special to your relationship, whether it's a weekly movie night, Bible study, morning walks, or cooking together on weekends.

Plan Surprise Gestures: Surprise your partner with small gestures of love and appreciation. These acts create joyful moments and reinforce feelings of trust and affection.

A couple talking to build trust in a marriage

Seek Understanding and Empathy

In moments of disagreement or conflict, the ability to understand and empathize with your partner's perspective goes a long way in building trust.

Practice Empathetic Listening: Put yourself in your partner's shoes and genuinely listen to their feelings and concerns. Validate their emotions.

Acknowledge Differences: It's normal to have different viewpoints in a Christian marriage. Respectfully acknowledge these differences and seek common ground.

Avoid Defensiveness: When discussing sensitive topics, avoid becoming defensive. Instead, approach conversations with an open mind and a willingness to understand.

Offer Emotional Support: Be there for your partner during difficult times. Offer comfort, reassurance, and a listening ear.

Practice Forgiveness and Letting Go

Forgiveness is a powerful tool in building and maintaining trust in a Christian marriage. Holding onto grudges or past mistakes can create barriers in a relationship. Learning to forgive and let go allows the relationship to move forward with openness and trust.

Acknowledge Mistakes: When you make a mistake, take responsibility for it and apologize sincerely. This shows your commitment to growth and learning from errors.

Forgive Freely: Similarly, be willing to forgive your partner for their mistakes. Holding onto resentment only hinders the trust-building process.

Letting Go of Resentment: Work together to address underlying issues that may be causing resentment. This could involve seeking counseling to navigate deeper conflicts.

Focus on the Present: Rather than dwelling on past grievances, focus on the present moment and how you can move forward together in a positive direction.

A couple trying to build trust in a marriage

Maintain Boundaries and Respect

Respecting each other's boundaries is crucial for building trust in marriage. Boundaries define what is acceptable and unacceptable in a Christian relationship, and honoring these boundaries fosters a sense of safety and security.

Communicate Boundaries: Have open discussions about your boundaries, whether they are physical, emotional, or related to personal space.

Respect Privacy: Respect each other's privacy and personal space. Avoid snooping on phones or personal belongings.

Consent and Agreement: Always seek consent and agreement in intimate situations. This reinforces trust and mutual respect.

Discuss Changes: If boundaries need to be adjusted, such as due to changing circumstances or comfort levels, communicate openly about these changes.

Weather Challenges Together

Life is full of ups and downs, and how a Christian couple navigates challenges can greatly impact their trust in each other. Facing difficulties together and supporting each other through tough times strengthens the bond of trust.

Teamwork in Challenges: Approach challenges as a team rather than as individuals. This collaborative mindset builds trust and resilience.

Problem-Solving Together: When faced with a problem, work together to find solutions. This demonstrates your commitment to each other's well-being.

Celebrate Resilience: Acknowledge and celebrate your resilience as a couple. Reflect on past challenges you've overcome together.

A couple bonding and building trust

In your journey to build trust in your marriage, seek guidance from Trisha & Thomas Walker, certified Couple Communication Coaches. Our Christian marriage ministry offers invaluable relationship advice for couples, keys to a successful marriage, and tips for a healthy relationship. Let us guide you toward a healed and whole family by helping you build trust in your marriage.

Connect with them for personalized coaching, insightful podcast discussions, and access to their couples' devotional for only $.99.

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All rights reserved 2023 © Trisha & Thomas, a ministry of LGLP Ministries, Inc.
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